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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?